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When my mother was only 6 years old her little brother drowned in the mill stream where they lived and played as children. The guilt and trauma of that event coloured her whole life. She then had to cope with losing her first husband very young. She married again and had two children, named me after the brother she lost, and dedicated herself to helping young people.

The last time I saw her we were helping her move into a new flat with plans for a new life and exciting future in her 70s with loads of friends around her. Just before we left she told me she didn't want to die yet but if she had to she'd had a good life. The next morning we learned she'd collapsed at the wheel of the car. Did she somehow suspect this was going to happen? We'll never know.

This is for her. Thanks for everything Mum.

lyrics

You were just a little girl as the mill race ran beneath
When fate first lay its evil hand on you
He was taken by the waters, and to an early grave
There really was nothing you could do

But the guilt lay like the waters bearing down on you
Carried the pain, held in the tears
Cared for sisters and for brothers, did the best you could
But the burden was just so hard to bear

Did she know? Did she know? When she said that did she know?
Was it intuition? Did she know? Did she know?
Could she was what come now, did she know?

Then romance came and swept you up upon its heady breeze
Carried you to places never dreamed
But all too soon this spell was broken, no breath left to cry
As life carried you on along its stream

Did she know? Did she know? When she said that did she know?
Was it intuition? Did she know? Did she know?
Could she was what come now, did she know?

Took all the pain, took all the tears. Moulded them into a force for good
Took all the pain, took all the tears. Generations would thank you if they could
Take all the pain, take all the tears. If you have to go you say it's been the best
Take all the pain, take all the tears. You're moving on, laying the guilt to rest

Did she know? Did she know? When she said that did she know?
Was it intuition did she know, did she know
Was it an admission? Was it a premonition?
Could she was what come. Did she know?
Could she was what come. Did she know?

credits

from (Jack Of All Trades) Master Of None, released October 13, 2018
Featuring Jonny Wallis on backing vocals and Joel Howe on bass

license

all rights reserved

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